Getting Laid in NYC
I’d never seen so much opportunity and while I continued to make many of the mistakes I’d made in Boston, I did start to learn a thing or two. Girls seemed to respond to a set of stimuli, and when I didn’t do certain things, out of fear, hesitation or stupidity, the girls usually walked. Analytically, it was easy to keep the things that worked and jettison the rest, and my game started to get laser-focused. By 2004 or so, I was taking a different girl to the local lounge almost every night of the week, and screwing at least 2 or 3 a week. I enjoyed myself tremendously during this period, because I was having a lot of sex without spending much money or time, as I’d done in my early 20′s.
At the end of the two-day rush, I had a nice little manifesto that captured, briefly, all I knew about how to sack women in Gotham. I included a feedback email address and pdf’d the document to prevent changes. I sent it to about 5 friends: a few lawyers, an investment banker, and a couple other guys living in Manhattan.
Life is funny, and within a week of writing Getting Laid and disseminating it, I met Annie, my soon-to-be girlfriend. Immediately, I fell for her, and all the pipelined girls were wiped off the slate. I was exclusive with her by the fall, and my memories of single life and what I’d written began to fade.
For 2 years, I didn’t have anything to do with hustling girls and I would be reminded of Getting Laid only when I checked my playingotham@ email. The emails continued to trickle in, and the seed of a future business was planted.
When Annie and I split, two years later, the document resurfaced. A journalist with a prominent national magazine contacted me and asked if I’d be interested in sitting for an interview on the “Mind of a Casanova.” What the hell? I agreed.
We met at Bemelmans Bar at the Carlyle Hotel on Madison (a classy jazz bar, if you haven’t been) and I explained everything from my childhood, to my first sexual experience to my current point-of-view on NYC dating.
The article was a hit, and put me on the radar.
The onslaught of media attention in the ensuing months was too detailed to summarize here, but I was sitting in front of cameras or talking with a talk-show host almost every week in the first half of 2008. And the questions would often focus on my aggressive and misogynistic tone in Getting Laid.
I have never back away from the content of the piece. I feel it’s an appropriate attitude for a guy in this late 20s who’s looking to sleep with a lot of attractive women in a metropolis like New York, where people are unpredictable and ultimately anonymous. It’s called Getting Laid, for God’s sake, not How to Love. I think a lot of commentators missed that point.
A few years on, I’m proud and grateful for the document. It helped me start a successful dating business and also, through it’s no-holds-barred language, helped start a frank discussion on dating and gender politics that continues today. One of my persistent fascinations with the piece is that it resonates so well with young men, and yet women recoil from it so instinctively. It’s a true marker of how different the sexes are and how wide the gender divide actually is. For all the talk of communication and common-ground, it remains a fact that men and women in their 20′s are completely different beasts.
My hope is that young men all over will continue to read Getting Laid in NYC because it’s entertaining, sure, but also because it offers proven, effective advice for a guy who needs to improve his success with women. My confidence with women skyrocketed after I figured out how to crack the code, and I included everything I then knew in the 17-page document.
My goal today, as I travel the globe, is to spread the gospel further, and hopefully to see Getting Laid translated into numerous languages. So without further ado, here is your download link.