A Key to Understanding Women
This is something that it took me years of “research” to finally understand. Here it is:
Judge a women based on how she behaves, not on how she looks.
This accomplishes at least two important things. First, it sets you apart from all the other men chasing her. A “hot” girl has legions of men doing her bidding. She’ll notice a guy who doesn’t grant her special treatment. She’ll respect you for your boundaries, EVEN IF SHE DISMISSES YOU AS NOT USEFUL TO HER. Of course, you can bend to her whims, but you’ll be in a lower status category immediately. Such an unequal pairing is not sustainable.
Secondly, it’s how a woman behaves (her character) that determines if you’ll be happy with her, not how she looks (which fade, anyhow).
Of course, you want all women you date to meet your physical standards so you can have enjoyable sexual relations with them, but in a partnership it’s the behavior of the girl that matters. To our parent’s generation this would seem like obvious advice, but for some reason I feel people 30 and under (generally speaking) are infatuated by appearance. In my experience, a hot girl loses 80% of her appeal after I fuck her, unless she’s got strong character. Keep those girls for casual sex and develop a partnership and trust with an attractive woman of substance.
What you said about the 80% decrease in appeal after fucking is SO true! And I thought I was the only one…
Does this system work on black chicks?
Sorting women, shoot, sorting all people in your life by character and value is a lesson that is rewarding when finally taken to heart.
This is such great advice, Paul. I can’t count how many times I’ve assumed a woman would be bitchy because of how sexy she was dressed, and she turned out to be nice. Or, how many times I thought a woman would be really nice because of how plain she was dressed and she turned out to be a total bitch. Talking to them and seeing how they act is the only way to find out.
Great tip on screening girls.
Paul,
You are truly brilliant!
Your female education for men is equivalent to learning how to fish from the best fisherman.
That’s all I have to say.
Thank you.
Yep, it is golden advice, for sure!…”Don’t judge a book by It’s cover” : )
Even at 60 my PUA friends are still learning! For a long term relationship, make sure the women is capable of using logic and reason. If she is not, RUN, RUN, RUN before she burns you!!! Look for evidence of logic in her past decisions, her major in college, and everything. Most women are psycho! BEWARE!!!
Also search (yes search everything) for any medication she may be on. Get off your a_ _ and find out what it is prescribed for. Do your research now, not after the problems start!
I have a whole list of cautions, but these two are the big ones.
Paul i think if you write a couple of novels i think you can make it to hollywood man.
Paul so much respect for you man, I don’t know how to thank you enough for the confidants I am building meeting more and more girls. There so many questions I still have if you read this message please send me your number on my email, I need your advice. I really like to meet up to. I would mind taking trip all the way from Canada to learn from you.
Sincerely
Focus
I mean wouldnt mind lol
Hi Paul,
Great advice, but don’t you think that unfortunately a lot of hot girls have a bitchy behavior or use tests ?
All the girls that go and talk to me or that I talk to are not reliable : hot, young…but evasive, gamey, flirty…
Once you show a bit of sincerity, they’re gone.
Any chick loses their physical aura whether they are smoking hot or average after you have fucked them. No doubt about it and invariably, that is when their personality, intelligence, and interests can take over.
I don’t know if you noted it but I believe it is essentially true that everything a man is indoctrinated to believe about women via pop culture, movies, etc. is counterintuitive to how the game actually works. Show little respect, introduce sex or that you are a man who just bangs women and you will be more successful. I say this b/c I used to be relatively nice guy and probably prevented me from sleeping with some women I would have liked to get in the sack. Assert yourself sexually from the get go, show tha you are a bit of a douche and she will likely be more interested. Do not supplicate. Supplication is death and will condemn you to the “friend zone” which is the equivalent of being the girl’s gay friend or brother. Look forward to seeing more insight from all you players out there! Keep ‘em coming!
I am mind-boggled. Every time I think about where I was with women a year ago, and where I am now…
Ive fucked almost 50 of the hottest girls in my city(and others) in the past 6 months.
Thank you, Mr. Janka
@DAMON: How was that possible, from a year ago? I’m trying to find out your biggest learning points that made you successful , compared to 1 year before.
Hey Paul, Just a comment on Mojo, something you’ve talked about in depth. I had a lot of frustration when I first started pickup, (flakiness and rejection). Now that I’ve been doing it for awhile, my confidence and over all feeling of being relaxed when approaching has soared… women trust me now and as a byproduct give me their number and go out with me. It’s very true that they are intuitive and pick-up on subtleties i.e. nervousness and lack of confidence. I can now see more of how women think. If they don’t feel that you’re confident enough with who you are and what you’re doing, they sure as hell won’t want anything to do with you. I think they expect a confident self-assured man “to be able to” lead them and show them a good time. Thanks for your insight. -Adam
Just an addition to my previous comment for your readers…you at one time weren’t as confident as you are now..I heard you say in one of your beyond the digits clips that on some days you can get 10 out of 10 numbers on a good day. Logistically I find that hard to believe because I always run into girls that I have zero chance (wedding ring, on vacation for one day, etc.) but I now see the possibility of getting a lot closer to that because of my stronger Mojo. I can see myself even getting better in a few months. Some days it just feels like sailing because its so easy. I sure didn’t feel like that when I first started, and I know you couldn’t have either. -Adam
Kevin said in an above post: “Your female education for men is equivalent to learning how to fish from the best fisherman.” And Jesus said ” I will make you a fisher of men.” I also noticed you used to use the name “Christian” as your pseudoname. Coincidence? You might think so. But I know its not. You have a strong evangelist calling on your life. We all have gifts, but how we use those gifts, that is what matters. I pray you will use yours to reel in souls into heaven. I don’t know how I found myself on this site, but I know nothing is an accident and that God will be drawing you near to his Son more and more as the days go by. Just remember Jesus said ” I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me.” Call upon his name and he will show you he is real. God bless you Paul.
@justagirl:
You don’t know how you found yourself on this site, but it seems like you came to the right place.
Probably wouldn’t harm you to get yourself loosened up a bit…
@Leo
I dont know how to answer that. I dont think that this lifestyle is for everyone. Its either in you, or isnt. I had the mentality and character of a “hustler” before I even knew how to “hustle”. Paul’s material just gave me the tools I needed to tweak my game to get the results Im getting.
Doesn’t PJ responds to his friggin’ article comments?
Come on Paul,step your game up bro’!
you said some very interesting things on the dr phil show. i think you are on and have the right idea. see women as equals and they’ll like you for it. problem is most guys elevate them to very high, unrealistic imaginative levels but in the long term we are all the same(girls,boys) and have common ups and downs,.
I know it’s not all about looks but on that subject I think I have 1 big disadvantage.
I’m 5″10 – 160lbs.
I’ve been on a online dating site that has thousands of questions that women answer. One question was that ALL women answer is “are you attracted to guys shorter than you” – all of them say no to this question.
I would say a good 90% of those women are looking to meet a guy 6″ or taller no matter how short they are. I didn’t run across too many profiles that were content with meeting guys my height.
Do you think it’s worth my time to even talk to girls that a close to my height? Should I only approach women much shorter than me?
Hi man…
Thanks for everything!
I finally got it…
I would add something more…
If you judge a woman by her behavior, and not by her looks you will determine her mental age. You’ll know how to behave to her.
This piece of advice will change my life.
Thanks mr Janka
Aaron: On What women want and being 5’10, 160: You are about the American average, your height and weight sounds more important to you than to women. I haven’t read or heard all the written and spoken words by Paul, yet, but my experience says women don’t know what they actually want. I like Paul’s take on “No” women, when you detect this, walk away. What they write on a dating site is likely a wild guess or the recommended response from Cosmopolitan magazine. Remember Jessica Lange telling “Tootsie” (Dustin Hoffman,) what’s the perfect thing for her to hear from a guy before bedding him. Shortly after, Hoffman, the guy, repeats the off-to-bed line to Jessica and she throws her drink in his face. Go meet the women, bed the takers, forget the rest.
A few quotes I like from Paul…”A difficult woman will remain difficult”, “challenge a woman immediately to force her out of her comfort zone”, “I only get to see a womans true colors when she has to decide. The rest is platitudes, pleasantries and bullshit. No one ever reveals themselves by being polite, is my experience.”
Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
Hi Paul,
Great to the point advice. And it’s so Paul Janka! Raw and just so true!
Cheers,
Pim
This is a great point. Most men fall in the trap of judging a girl by her looks alone. If she’s hot, he’s down to hang out and do more or less whatever he wants. I admit I’ve fallen into this trap more than a few times in my life. Developing real standards is part of becoming a truly attractive and compelling man. Without it, you are just another penis chasing her. They are a dime a dozen.
Couldn’t have said it better, Paul.
And frankly, a hot girl with a character you don’t find attractive isn’t even interesting for “just sex”. Because as a man of options and standards, why have “just sex” when you can give your time to the people in your life who really inspire you and turn you on, mind – body – and spirit.
Best Wishes
Vincent Vinturi