Overcoming Frustration
As a man, you have two choices: the comfort and convenience of a committed relationship, or the uncertainty and excitement of the single life. If you choose the latter, you need to come to terms with an emotion that can bedevil you if you’re not careful: frustration.
Depending on your appetite and the rotation you employ, you may be seeing quite a number of girls per week. This is the benefit of learning how to pick up women. Carefree, fun, light and full of variety – that’s abundance at its best.
However, even the most seasoned player needs to deal with frustration because women can behave in a particularly irresponsible manner when they know things are casual. Of course, it depends on the girl, but many women feel entitled to break plans at the last minute, to be annoyingly vague or to be old-fashioned teases. I discuss strategies for mitigating this in Attraction Formula, but nothing is 100%. You’ll find yourself up against a wall sometimes, chasing smoke. Even the best of us do it. However, over time, you’ll learn to ferret out time-wasters and other false-starts.
The worst thing you can do when you’re frustrated – and I still do this, too frequently – is to “act out.” That means sending a mean or insulting text, or making a strongly sexual comment (my strategy) in a last-ditch effort to get her attention. This rarely works. The best strategy if you want to sexually enjoy the most women is to remain cool-headed and have a nonchalant attitude. This is easier said than done, because if you’re excited to sleep with a woman, it’s extremely frustrating when things fall apart.
A good part of the solution is to have a deep inventory so that you always have ten girls in play on a given night. You’ll definitely get laid that way – maybe not by the girl you really want – but at least you won’t be going ape-shit-batty! Also, knowing how to meet new girls greatly reduces the stress that a single girl can cause…
It seems that frustration is the price a man pays for the excitement of single life. Many men, it’s my belief, ultimately settle into a workable relationship because they haven’t mastered the single life. In my opinion, that’s a bit backward; it makes more sense to “retire” once you’ve understood how to play the game most effectively (each man has a different potential). In the early stages of the hustle, the war-path is littered with false-starts, missed opportunities and “should haves…” As you hone your skills and really learn how to meet women in large numbers, how to effectively pipeline your dating schedule and how to manage a working inventory, you’ll encounter frustration less frequently. I cover all these issues and strategies in Attraction Formula. Though it may decrease, frustration with the fickle female will never entirely dissolve. As a man’s libido wanes I think this can happen naturally, but that’s cold comfort to a virile man with fire in his loins.
So, keep your head up high and eventually you’ll master the art of picking up women. I came before so you should get up the learning curve faster than I did, because I’ve done a lot of the work for you. Also, expect that the initial phase can be frustrating, but once you’re had a taste of female abundance you’ll not only pursue the course more vigorously, but handle the occasional frustration more gracefully.
I’ve been using your materials over the last few months and seeing tremendous results. Thank you for sharing your system with guys, it’s really good stuff. I’ve been telling all my buddies about you. Keep up the good work. – Markus
I’d have to agree. All true decisions come from a choice centered in abundance, not scarcity.
these are great articles keep up the great work and advise.
true
Great advice, thoughts and products Paul. Thank You for sharing your unique and proven (by myself and many others) methods.
Paul for PRESIDENT!
Does this book works in a way for long term relationship, when starting off looking for a certain woman, if not, where and which book should I read? Thanks.
I am not really concerned about being a player, but rather being selective with certain women (therefore most principle should apply here when I use the term selective). However, if I just single out a woman and I managed to get her contact information, then how do I proceed to fall into a committed relationship? Paul Janka looks like a man, a player, and attractive. However, I am pretty sure he knows how to have a committed relationship.
Please make a separate book if possible.
Paul, I think one thing that your readers should consider if they are beginners is that it must have been very difficult and frustrating for you when you first started. In one of your beyond the digits clips you said that on a good day you can get ten out of ten numbers. Logistically I feel thats impossible because I always run into girls with zero chance (wedding ring, vacation for one day, etc.) I was very frustrated and angry when I first started about ten months ago. Now as I’ve gotten much more confident, it feels like sailing some days its so easy, and i know I will only get better in the coming months. You HAD to feel the same way when you first started. It’s a skill and a “muscle” as you say that gets better only with time and practice.
i m studying ur material for past 1 year, bt still i m nt able to approach,, i feel very anxious… please guide me… or else i’ll die…
I’m only half way through the book and it’s already working.
Just today I walked out of the office to grab some lunch – I saw a girl with a cute dog (and a cute ass) and I stopped to compliment her dog and the conversation started. I told her that I love pets but I’ve gotta run to catch a bus and that I would like to grab some coffee later this week. Seeing that several busses were coming with a sense of urgency she gave out the phone number and it’s legit too!
I had no plans to get on any bus but I got on one anyway and eat lunch somewhere else. Now time to read the rest of the book to see what I can do to get her into bed at my downtown apartment. I live downtown, women everywhere – how can I go wrong? I think this is going to be easier now that my confidence is up!
Thanks Paul!!
It is a numbers game, isn’t it?
My first thought after reading Pauls book was that he was bent upon just screwing women and wasn’t interested in getting to really know people. But how well do you really get to know people when it’s on their own terms?
And what do you do when the person you really want to know blows you off? Do you dwell on it or do you just go out there and meet more women? After all, what would have your life been if you never met that women to begin with? Same as it was before, right?
So I met up with 5 of the 40 women I met last week. One of them was really cool and after our first hour long meeting over coffee I thought I would see her again – now she’s playing a game cancelling meetups and all that stuff. I think I gave away too much about myself, not in a bad way but in a way that the thrill of the first “date” isn’t so exciting come to the next date. One of the 5 women I ended up going all the way with, and she’s hot, but I’m not that attracted to her but she turned out to be more reliable than the girl I really got along with.
So my experience has been this: If I investing everything in 1 girl, for one night, weather that be out for coffee or sex I need to wrap my mind around the reality that I will never see her again. She could be dating a few other guys for all I know. It’s so much easier to get past that 1 girl that lost interest in me when I’ve got 40 other people to communicate with.
This is teaching me new ways to socialize in a better way with everyone – not just girls. Some people just are not that friendly….but the world is a big place and there are plenty of people out there who are. I don’t really mind being rejected by 100 women just to sleep with 5 or 10 of them. That’s better than what I was doing before,? Best of all, my confidence is up….I just need to keep our conversations short, let there be an aura of mystery around myself and see where it goes from there.
I think I’m stuck in a rut which is what we call dreaded “friend zone” .
I have had amazing success after reading Pauls book. I have no problem meeting women and getting phone numbers at all but right now my main issue is landing in the “friend zone” and it keeps happening to me.
If after several rounds of texting a girl agrees to meet me for coffee or a drink what I’ve learned is that if I don’t immediately get them into bed then I’m most certainly in the ‘friend zone’ which usually results in me never seeing or hearing from them again.
So what I think I’m lacking is verbal game. My ultimate goal is to sleep with and/or date as many women as possible until I find the one that is perfect for me but when they say ‘let’s be friends’ I take that as rejection and I usually stop talking to them.
So I’m trying to think of examples of verbal game that I can use to get them out again even if it’s after we have had sex. Maybe I just don’t know what to say?
For me, a big revelation on this was realizing it’s all about having goals in a general sense, but not concentrating those goals on a specific girl.
It’s the difference between “I want to have sex” and “I want to have sex with Julie.” The first goal can (in the proper framework) contribute to healthy, robust development of your game and masculine attractiveness. The second goal will lead to more and more neediness and desperation, gradually lowering your overall attractiveness.