There comes a time when most men contemplate settling down. It’s highly correlated with a guy’s age and life plan, as well as his skill at bagging chicks – a player knows he’s giving up a lot by committing. If you’re good with women, the question becomes, “Which chick?”

Since they all want a relationship (for the most part, unless they’re under 25 or over 35) you’ll rarely have to work hard to convince a girl to try exclusivity. Men want sex, women commitment, that’s the common knowledge. Here’s the problem, and it’s a nice one to have: there are a lot of very hot girls in the world, but if you want to have a family in the traditional sense, you gotta choose one girl to be the mother of your kids. How do you do it?

It’s definitely not an easy choice – unless you get slammed by love. If you’re really playing the field and you’re good with women, chances are you won’t succumb to this fleeting intoxication; all players are emotionally removed, to some extent. You can evaluate the offerings and make a cool, calculated selection. What’s important to you?

In my experience, having dated a lot of chicks and slept with hundreds, I can give you some good advice: beware situations motivated by sex! For you guys out there who’ve done your fair share of damage, you know that after you’ve tapped a very sexy girl you consider her in a very different light. Even though I wish it weren’t the case, the fact remains that sex cannot keep two people together for very long, especially if the guy has chops!

Believe me, I love a hot piece as much as the next guy, but it never lasts… I can think of the hot red-head Scorpio from 2003 who let me do all kinds of inhumane things to her body… She was a looker, too. We had this remarkable chemistry and I loved breaking off a piece… But we had nothing in common: she was a conservative-looking Connecticut girl who liked reading romance novels, I was an edgy hustler who didn’t want to skid into mid-life just yet. And then, much more recently, there was Vanessa from Sao Paulo – a Brazilian who knew how to use parts of her body that most girls don’t even know they have… Pleasant girl, and we were raw when the lights went down, but she always wanted to “talk” and I couldn’t ever pretend to be interested in what she was saying… How many times can a player return to the well if there’s nothing to discuss, nothing comfortably similar or familiar.

And don’t get me started on chasing a misbehaving piece of 20 year-old club meat…

One reason I advocate guy’s learning the ropes first is that a man has to know the cycle of lust before he can make smart choices… He has to know what if feels like to catch a real hottie, bed her, and then lose interest. If he doesn’t know firsthand the fleeting nature of attraction he’s prone to make a serious mistake – thinking that the burning in his loins is reason enough to say, “I do.”

The remedy is to select for a woman who has character – something that really matters in the long-term. Once the boobs sag, the thighs spread and pajamas become de rigueur you’re going to want a woman who is patient, reliable, honest, sweet, affectionate and loyal. If you can find it in a hot package when she’s young, you’re in luck!

I’ll tell you a little story…

A young woman who means a lot to me displayed incredible character on our second “date”… I met her with my buddy R. while walking the streets of NYC. I had a reputation at the time and so I was using a pseudonym when I hustled pretty young things on the street… That day, I met one fine lady and gave her my working name, “Christian.” We got together a few weeks later and had a great time on our first hang-out. I accidently broke her necklace while getting down and dirty… She kept the kitty locked up, but I liked her company. So…. date #2 happened a few days later. We were making out in my bed when she challenged me on something and in order to clear the air I told her my name was actually “Paul.” Understandably, she withdrew and got suspicious. Her mood nosedived and she became scared and angry. It was late and she was broke so I offered to loan her $20 bucks to take a cab home. She left distraught, after agreeing it was a loan.

A couple of days later she indicated she wanted to meet to repay the $20. We did and it was the beginning of a beautiful romance…

The lesson here is that as a 21-year-old girl rattled by her emotions, she nevertheless honored her word to me and repaid the money.

In my experience, few girls can do that. Most women make decisions emotionally and will quickly void any commitments made earlier if they feel angry, hurt or cheated. Men will do this too, but less so. (That’s why the male mind runs the world.)

The second show of character came some months later. This same young woman was in bed with me at my house. We were dating. My buddy R. stopped by to say “hi” and make small talk. He’s a very socially sophisticated guy and we’ve shared many women in the past. He knows which buttons to push to elicit certain responses and get what he wants.

He miscalculated that this young girl was just a hussy in bed with me; that I didn’t have any stake in her or her feelings.

In his miscalculation, he said some obnoxious comments relating to how he’d like to sleep with her, etc. I was caught a bit off guard, and let the situation play out… This particular young lady deflected his comments graciously and instead of getting incensed and retaliating, she mused over his words and responded maturely and with equanimity. The result? R. looked childish and insecure, isolated in the corner of the room with the echoes of his inappropriate words surrounding him…

And this girl was 21!

These are demonstrations of character that no amount of ass-shaking, tit-jiggling, or lip-smacking will rival. Make sure you pick a solid winner when you decide to mate, because your daughters are going to need the genes and upbringing to survive this relentless world.

Not least because there are guys like me in it!

Paul