Judge a women based on how she behaves, not on how she looks.

This accomplishes at least two important things. First, it sets you apart from all the other men chasing her. A “hot” girl has legions of men doing her bidding. She’ll notice a guy who doesn’t grant her special treatment. She’ll respect you for your boundaries, EVEN IF SHE DISMISSES YOU AS NOT USEFUL TO HER. Of course, you can bend to her whims, but you’ll be in a lower status category immediately. Such an unequal pairing is not sustainable.

Secondly, it’s how a woman behaves (her character) that determines if you’ll be happy with her, not how she looks (which fade, anyhow).

Of course, you want all women you date to meet your physical standards so you can have enjoyable sexual relations with them, but in a partnership it’s the behavior of the girl that matters. To our parent’s generation this would seem like obvious advice, but for some reason I feel people 30 and under (generally speaking) are infatuated by appearance. In my experience, a hot girl loses 80% of her appeal after I fuck her, unless she’s got strong character. Keep those girls for casual sex and develop a partnership and trust with an attractive woman of substance.

Depending on your appetite and the rotation you employ, you may be seeing quite a number of girls per week. This is the benefit of learning how to pick up women. Carefree, fun, light and full of variety – that’s abundance at its best.

However, even the most seasoned player needs to deal with frustration because women can behave in a particularly irresponsible manner when they know things are casual. Of course, it depends on the girl, but many women feel entitled to break plans at the last minute, to be annoyingly vague or to be old-fashioned teases. I discuss strategies for mitigating this in Attraction Formula, but nothing is 100%. You’ll find yourself up against a wall sometimes, chasing smoke. Even the best of us do it. However, over time, you’ll learn to ferret out time-wasters and other false-starts.

The worst thing you can do when you’re frustrated – and I still do this, too frequently – is to “act out.” That means sending a mean or insulting text, or making a strongly sexual comment (my strategy) in a last-ditch effort to get her attention. This rarely works. The best strategy if you want to sexually enjoy the most women is to remain cool-headed and have a nonchalant attitude. This is easier said than done, because if you’re excited to sleep with a woman, it’s extremely frustrating when things fall apart.

A good part of the solution is to have a deep inventory so that you always have ten girls in play on a given night. You’ll definitely get laid that way – maybe not by the girl you really want – but at least you won’t be going ape-shit-batty! Also, knowing how to meet new girls greatly reduces the stress that a single girl can cause…

It seems that frustration is the price a man pays for the excitement of single life. Many men, it’s my belief, ultimately settle into a workable relationship because they haven’t mastered the single life. In my opinion, that’s a bit backward; it makes more sense to “retire” once you’ve understood how to play the game most effectively (each man has a different potential). In the early stages of the hustle, the war-path is littered with false-starts, missed opportunities and “should haves…” As you hone your skills and really learn how to meet women in large numbers, how to effectively pipeline your dating schedule and how to manage a working inventory, you’ll encounter frustration less frequently. I cover all these issues and strategies in Attraction Formula. Though it may decrease, frustration with the fickle female will never entirely dissolve. As a man’s libido wanes I think this can happen naturally, but that’s cold comfort to a virile man with fire in his loins.

So, keep your head up high and eventually you’ll master the art of picking up women. I came before so you should get up the learning curve faster than I did, because I’ve done a lot of the work for you. Also, expect that the initial phase can be frustrating, but once you’re had a taste of female abundance you’ll not only pursue the course more vigorously, but handle the occasional frustration more gracefully.

Since they all want a relationship (for the most part, unless they’re under 25 or over 35) you’ll rarely have to work hard to convince a girl to try exclusivity. Men want sex, women commitment, that’s the common knowledge. Here’s the problem, and it’s a nice one to have: there are a lot of very hot girls in the world, but if you want to have a family in the traditional sense, you gotta choose one girl to be the mother of your kids. How do you do it?

It’s definitely not an easy choice – unless you get slammed by love. If you’re really playing the field and you’re good with women, chances are you won’t succumb to this fleeting intoxication; all players are emotionally removed, to some extent. You can evaluate the offerings and make a cool, calculated selection. What’s important to you?

In my experience, having dated a lot of chicks and slept with hundreds, I can give you some good advice: beware situations motivated by sex! For you guys out there who’ve done your fair share of damage, you know that after you’ve tapped a very sexy girl you consider her in a very different light. Even though I wish it weren’t the case, the fact remains that sex cannot keep two people together for very long, especially if the guy has chops!

Believe me, I love a hot piece as much as the next guy, but it never lasts… I can think of the hot red-head Scorpio from 2003 who let me do all kinds of inhumane things to her body… She was a looker, too. We had this remarkable chemistry and I loved breaking off a piece… But we had nothing in common: she was a conservative-looking Connecticut girl who liked reading romance novels, I was an edgy hustler who didn’t want to skid into mid-life just yet. And then, much more recently, there was Vanessa from Sao Paulo – a Brazilian who knew how to use parts of her body that most girls don’t even know they have… Pleasant girl, and we were raw when the lights went down, but she always wanted to “talk” and I couldn’t ever pretend to be interested in what she was saying… How many times can a player return to the well if there’s nothing to discuss, nothing comfortably similar or familiar.

And don’t get me started on chasing a misbehaving piece of 20 year-old club meat…

One reason I advocate guy’s learning the ropes first is that a man has to know the cycle of lust before he can make smart choices… He has to know what if feels like to catch a real hottie, bed her, and then lose interest. If he doesn’t know firsthand the fleeting nature of attraction he’s prone to make a serious mistake – thinking that the burning in his loins is reason enough to say, “I do.”

The remedy is to select for a woman who has character – something that really matters in the long-term. Once the boobs sag, the thighs spread and pajamas become de rigueur you’re going to want a woman who is patient, reliable, honest, sweet, affectionate and loyal. If you can find it in a hot package when she’s young, you’re in luck!

I’ll tell you a little story…

A young woman who means a lot to me displayed incredible character on our second “date”… I met her with my buddy R. while walking the streets of NYC. I had a reputation at the time and so I was using a pseudonym when I hustled pretty young things on the street… That day, I met one fine lady and gave her my working name, “Christian.” We got together a few weeks later and had a great time on our first hang-out. I accidently broke her necklace while getting down and dirty… She kept the kitty locked up, but I liked her company. So…. date #2 happened a few days later. We were making out in my bed when she challenged me on something and in order to clear the air I told her my name was actually “Paul.” Understandably, she withdrew and got suspicious. Her mood nosedived and she became scared and angry. It was late and she was broke so I offered to loan her $20 bucks to take a cab home. She left distraught, after agreeing it was a loan.

A couple of days later she indicated she wanted to meet to repay the $20. We did and it was the beginning of a beautiful romance…

The lesson here is that as a 21-year-old girl rattled by her emotions, she nevertheless honored her word to me and repaid the money.

In my experience, few girls can do that. Most women make decisions emotionally and will quickly void any commitments made earlier if they feel angry, hurt or cheated. Men will do this too, but less so. (That’s why the male mind runs the world.)

The second show of character came some months later. This same young woman was in bed with me at my house. We were dating. My buddy R. stopped by to say “hi” and make small talk. He’s a very socially sophisticated guy and we’ve shared many women in the past. He knows which buttons to push to elicit certain responses and get what he wants.

He miscalculated that this young girl was just a hussy in bed with me; that I didn’t have any stake in her or her feelings.

In his miscalculation, he said some obnoxious comments relating to how he’d like to sleep with her, etc. I was caught a bit off guard, and let the situation play out… This particular young lady deflected his comments graciously and instead of getting incensed and retaliating, she mused over his words and responded maturely and with equanimity. The result? R. looked childish and insecure, isolated in the corner of the room with the echoes of his inappropriate words surrounding him…

And this girl was 21!

These are demonstrations of character that no amount of ass-shaking, tit-jiggling, or lip-smacking will rival. Make sure you pick a solid winner when you decide to mate, because your daughters are going to need the genes and upbringing to survive this relentless world.

Not least because there are guys like me in it!

Paul

I’m currently involved with a woman, but the fact that I can easily approach and close many of the women on the street makes something as simple as getting a cup of coffee an exercise in temptation… Over the years I’ve approached countless thousands of women and in the process I’ve developed such strong confidence and verbal skills that I can disarm, engage and attract many of the most beautiful women walking around the streets of New York.

But with this skill comes a responsibility, and it’s hard to pass by beautiful women without striking up a conversation or at least making eye contact. I can turn it off at times, but the charm and seduction skills are often just below the surface, creating temptation everywhere I go.

If you want to learn how to engage beautiful women on demand, and you feel you can use the skills responsibly, check out SECRETS TO MEETING WOMEN, my internationally-recognized seduction program, captured on 6 DVDs and available for instant access on my new membership site.

==> http://www.SecretsToMeetingWomen.com

The content in my online seminar WILL change your life and give you skills you never had before, but be forewarned that having incredible competence with women will create temptation around every corner. Make sure you want that much power before you order SECRETS TO MEETING WOMEN…

==> http://www.SecretsToMeetingWomen.com

Paul Janka

I want to share two quick stories with you now of failures, so you know that I get my share of crash-and-burns, as well.

It’s true that I have spent time developing my strengths, particularly in the areas of attitude and fashion. My style often works for me, and since I’m in the business of females, I spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money looking my best. I also have the luxury of experimenting and trying new looks, techniques and wardrobes.

While it’s true that all this has a positive effect on “game” it’s false to assume that I can get any girl, or that they all respond. I encounter rejection just like other guys do.

Girl #1: Met her in Chicago last weekend. I was at a popular nightclub and Angela was outside smoking a cigarette with her friend. She had on a tight white dress and a large, visible tattoo on her back. She had a trashy but sweet look to her. I talked to the two girls for a few minutes about Hollywood, Chicago, tattoos and the nightclub scene.

She was interested in me, which was clear. I took her number. She told me that she couldn’t really hang out that night because she was at another dude’s table. She wanted to meet the next day, though. I gave her a hug and went into the club. I could feel by running my hand down her side that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Later that night I saw her dancing on the banquet with her shoes off, obviously drunk.

I texted her late night but she wouldn’t come over. Saturday was a busy work day, so we traded few texts. When I got back to the hotel room, I called her and she sounded eager to meet me for a drink. I told her after my late dinner at 10PM.

Fast forward: she’s at my hotel door, having valeted her car in the parking garage below. She comes in and sits in a single chair in the large hotel room. She does not sit on the bed – not a good sign. I have to pull up a chair and sit next to her. It’s an awkward angle.

I start massaging her and slide off her dress straps. She doesn’t let her 24-year old breasts spill out like I hoped she would.

Eventually, I get her shoes off and she’s on the bed, but she’s reluctant. We kiss and she pulls away. This girl is clearly a slut, and I don’t say that because she’s in my hotel room. It’s just her attitude. A girl who wants to have sex right away isn’t a slut, she’s just horny; a slut is a women who is sloppy in terms of her thoughts, emotions, goals and attitude. Ironically, I don’t do well with these types. I think they can feel a player and they get guarded. I have, many a time, been shut down by girls who are easy for everyone else. Isn’t that funny!

Long story, short, she wanted me to take her downstairs for a drink and then “maybe something will happen.” I had to laugh. She was trying to bargain with me. I also know from experience that if they are talking that way they’ll take me for a fool and then back out after the drink. She clearly wasn’t into my vibe, which was fine.

Oh, I forgot to mention that she let me pull her panties down, but then reversed course. Nonsense.

The most interesting thing about this is that she said at one point, a few minutes before she left, “You don’t know how to play this game,” indicating with her gesticulating arms that she meant “seduction.” I played dumb and asked, “What game?”

No booty, but no associated expenses, either. That’s what I call a “no deal” meeting. Neither party benefits,  and neither party loses.

GIrl #2: Much shorter story. On my way to Brooklyn this afternoon, I was walking down a busy street towards the subway and a hot brunette fumbling with a cigarette walked towards me. I looked good: scruff, shades, long hair, sexy new leather jacket.

I thew out a causal question: “Hey, you know where the subway is?”

She walked right past the bait. All I got for my efforts was a half head-turn and a, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t even break gait. And I’m a professional!

Be easy on yourself. We’ll never know why that hot one we saw yesterday didn’t stop.

It’s part of the mystery. But….there’s always “Next!”

Keep in mind, Attraction Formula was written at the peak of my hustler days, over a year ago. Since then, I’ve gotten busy with a lot of business-related activities, and my attention has broadened beyond just bedding women. Also, I have some really great women in my life whom I see regularly, so that’s slowed the velocity of new women into my life. Nevertheless, as you read in these articles, I still do fine and I am about to embark on a 3-month world tour with the express purpose of chasing and bedding women in some of the world’s swankiest settings…

So, this young lady, J., just bought my ebook. She’s a very smart girl that works as a software engineer at a company that is the boon/bane of my existence: Google. It’s a boon because it drives our business through paid-search; it’s the bane of my existence because almost every girl I meet uses it as a research tool in her quest to identify and snatch the “ideal” guy. I get disqualified early on in the process because of….well, because of my Google-ability…

So, J. (who, by the way starts every sentence with, “So,…” a common trait among engineers who like to start thinking from first principles) was telling me the other night in bed about Ladder Theory.

From a man’s point of view, women are always on a single ladder: they can always be considered sexually and most men spend time and attention on women they find sexually desirable.

Women, on the other hand, view men either on a one ladder or another: the “friend” track of the “lover” track. And, according to J., ladder jumping is prohibited and almost always impossible… In fact, when a patient man who has been biding his time on the “friend” ladder tries to make the jump, the outcome is invariably AWKWARDNESS.

I subscribe to this model, but personally I have burned the “friend” ladder – there’s never a chance a women will consider me a friend, first and only. I’m too aggressive, and I won’t hang around an attractive women for long if she wants me to sit politely in her “friend” category.

I rather have a women become disgusted with me and throw me out then for her to feel “safe” and “cuddly” with me, when I have a strong libidinal desire for more…

News of a crush made its way down the grapevine and I was soon having mint tea with Nicole in the shadowy recesses of Café Noir. We said this-and-that, touched here-and-there, and kissed over-and-again. She was a radiant beauty with flowing dark hair, brown eyes and beautiful olive skin. The hot summer night forced her into a skimpy tank-top that revealed graceful shoulders and nice, smooth arms.

Tea can only take you so far; we needed to move it along. My game was in the early stages of development and I didn’t really know how to escalate things or move a night along. I had one idea that night – Café Noir – and I was now out of options. We left the place and fell into the humid New York night.

We walked a bit making small talk. It helped that we’d stop every few feet and kiss and grope. That kept the energy moving forward. In a flash of boldness, my 25-year-old self grabbed Nicole and thrust her against a wall. We ducked into a dark alcove off the street so passersby couldn’t see our lust.

This turned her on. She started rubbing my stomach and chest; I licked her neck and up by her ear. Things were getting hot. I felt her hand migrate below the equator and pay attention to Brazil.

Being the innovator, I decided to go for broke. The combination of night air, her perfume, the tea and my emerging sense of entitlement allowed me to lift her arm, take a deep breath and go for it. I took a long, forceful lick of her hairless armpit.

In the ensuing eight years, I haven’t experienced anything similar. It’s been almost a decade, and I have yet to repeat such a foolish and distasteful move. Halfway through the lick, my tongue scraping against her shorn hair follicles and grazing over her many sweat pores, I hit anti-perspirant. It was like a Formula-One driver hitting an oil slick. I lost control.

My tongue recoiled. My head heaved. I stumbled back. My eyes teared. My thoughts glazed over. Nicole, freaked by the whole incident, remained frozen, arm raised above her head in some kind of perennial sexual salute. I was doubled over, coughing, using my fingers and sleeve to remove the desiccant from my tongue.

You see, anti-perspirant contains chemicals that remove moisture from skin. And my tongue, great, long, pleasure-giving creature that it is, is coated in saliva. The two don’t play fair. I have never had such an unpleasant physical sensation. It was if the all the water in my mouth was being sucked out and it kept going; I couldn’t get the stuff off my palette.

Doubled over in agony, I managed to look up and through tear-stained eyes saw Nicole raise her arm one last time.

It was to hail a cab.

Because of my line of work and the fact that I don’t need to shave or wear a suit for work, I’m able to wear some outrageous and fun clothes…

Lately, I’ve been rocking a pair of TOM FORD Shelby brown aviators, leather-wrapped. A green Dolce & Gabbana leather jacket, and Diesel jeans. Yesterday I bought a cheap Chinese polyester fedora/bowler’s hat. Throw it all together, and it’s a good look…

The beauty of it (aside from the fact that it’s just fun to rock cool threads…) is that women eat it up. It’s like catnip. I don’t have to do much, and they show interest.

This is similar to the seduction advice of “peacocking” – the only difference being that I hope to achieve an element “cool,” that will draw women in, whereas some of those other folks seem like participants in a silly circus act.

Cool clothes and fashion – including tattoos, of which I have none – can do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. This works well for a guy who may be a bit shy or wants to go out into the “field” with an advantage. Don’t get me wrong, though.  Clothes can only take you so far. I have a friend who has sex with tons of girls and he dresses very blandly. But he’s got solid “I don’t take shit from anyone” game.

The reason for female attraction to unique style is two-fold:

1) It indicates that the man has strong resources of some sort (intellectual, financial, social or character) because he can risk stepping outside of the group. It’s the same reason that women are physically attracted to rebels (meaning that they get w*t at he sight of James Dean): if a man has enough confidence to risk ostracism from his peers for being “different” then he must have some sort of inner strength. She wants to get to know what it is…

2) I’m stealing this from The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar: if you strip down both sexes and shave their heads, man and woman are fairly indistinguishable. Sure, our sex organs are different, and women have breasts, but have you ever wondered why so many females are “beautiful,” whereas men are rarely so becoming? Statistically, it’s impossible that there’s any difference in objective physical health/robustness. What’s going on here? Well, women have learned and been inculcated by society to adopt practices that “trick” men. They grow their hair long, they depilate, they wear ornaments (jewelry) and they paint their faces every day: mascara, foundation, eyeliner, lipstick. All of this creates a sense of “other” to which man is attracted.

Imagine 20,000 B.C. when the females with short hair and hairy legs and pits were squatting by the fire mashing yucca plant. They were unsightly and not that much different than men. Picture it for a second – you wouldn’t want that thing in your bed! Now picture a Playboy Playmate. See the difference? As heterosexual men, we’re attracted to what we’re not.

So, when a rock star grows his hair long, paints his nails, and wears eyeliner he communicates a message to women: I’m different, somewhere between you and all those other men – Come find out more about me!

That scrambles a woman’s radar and she, always the curious feline, will come closer to sniff it out…

I was with a guy on the subway on Monday and we were talking about his business. The train pulled into my stop and I exited, saying good-bye. Waiting on the platform, about to enter the train was a very cute redhead with a ponytail. She had on an IPOD and was standing, waiting for her opening. On Manhattan subway trains, there’s only about 7 seconds between the time the doors open until they close. I contemplated turning around and approaching her, convincing her to miss this train and chat for a minute or two (she may have resisted and I wasn’t about to go uptown just to chat to a girl). So, I let it go.

This type of situation accounts for 75% of pick-ups: situations in which I have a 5-7 second window to make contact before she’s gone, meets her friends, gets on the phone, or has past me on the street (requiring me to chase her down). It’s also about proximity: sometimes the girl is getting off the train as I’m getting on and there’s only a foot between us, but she moves too fast. Or she passes on a downward escalator; I’m going up.

It’s really a matter of seconds and inches, no joke.

Pick-up is very much like battlefield combat. If you hope to be effective you have to be quick without being sloppy, you have to be precise, you have to see your target quickly and be decisive and deliberate. On top of all that, you have to have the mental acuity and flexibility to open the girl and keep the conversation “bouncy”. If that weren’t hard enough, you have to have a backbone to deal with offensive, rude and the most common type, the socially inept girl. This game is not about pride, it’s about results.

The results speak for themselves, but few men are really good at this. It’s easier to settle for the one girl you’re seeing, or to wait for an introduction, or to rely on bar/nightclub scene where lights are dim, the music loud (to cover poor verbal game) and the senses dulled by alcohol.

If you’re reading this, you’ve decided to work on this part of your game and I commend you. Don’t give up, even though it may get frustrating at times. These skills – decisiveness, emotional strength, detachment, and verbal proficiency – will serve you well beyond pick-up in the areas of business, finance, friendship, performance and deep relationships.

Good luck to you.

I made a spreadsheet a couple of weeks ago, because I was curious about dinners. My buddy Jeff and I have long-since known dinner is the death-knell for getting laid, but I had never taken a statistical look at the stuff. Out of about 30 girls I could think of off the top of my head, I only had sex with 2 or so. Really shitty hit rate. Dinner is a terrible approach if you want to get laid, and I will explain later why. It’s fine in a relationship, or after you’ve had sex, or with a girlfriend, etc., but never initially, and never if your goal is to get the girl naked.

On the other hand, drinks at a sexy lounge after 10pm is always the right move. Lounges are ideal for a number of reasons, and when I look at my hit rate there, it’s significant. Of the roughly 40 girls I’ve brought to my favorite spot on the Upper East Side, about 30 have come home with me and about 25 of those have banged. That’s a much better hit rate than dinner, and yet I am always amazed to walk down the street on a given night, especially Friday night, and see all these eager guys sitting across from a smirking woman. The usual end game there, in my experience, is a fat bill, a bloated stomach, some yawns and a peck on the cheek, with the guy standing foolishly by as the girl steps into a cab waving good-bye. Home to porno. Why? Because women know how to play the game better than men do. Think about all the time they spend reading dating and relationship magazines, and books – you think they don’t know more about the playing field than men? Come on.

Stay tuned. There’s a lot more to come.